THE COFFEE MUG

The coffee mug was my peace. THE COFFEE MUG GAVE ME EVERYTHING.
Breakfast at Lorenzo’s is always so amazing. The serene coffee and pancake shop located in a quiet street off the Lekki Express way was all I needed to calm my nerves each morning. You see, I am not a morning person. I’m one of those “can stay up all night” kind of people and so when I got a job at a polular lifestyle magazine house, which was my dream job but which required me to be at the office as early as 7 am, I needed something that would kick into my system fast and get me ready for the day. I had tried some other things, like sleeping early which rarely ever went well because I would lie in bed for hours doing nothing yet sleep would evade me like the plaque of death during the Passover. I also tried the cold bath method where I would bathe with water that had been left open in a bucket from the day before; a friend suggested it would make me jerk awake and I would be unable to go back to sleep…. Unfortunately that didn’t work either. Bathing with very cold water so early on a lagos morning seemed to make me even crankier.

I still hadn’t found my elixr.

This was until Femi, one Yoruba demon I met at my cousins wedding in May invited me for a lunch date at Lorenzos. I had never heard of the place before and I wondered why this handsome young man (very prospective boyfriend at the time) would rather have lunch as opposed to a romantic dinner for two at any of the hot-spots in Lagos. However, I obliged his invite as in simple terms, I was single to stupor and my family members at the wedding did not fail to sing their customary “A MA SE TIE NAA O” (we are going to come for yours too soon) prayers.

Date day: I made a conscious effort to be happy this cold Wednesday by listening to happy music. My definition of happy music here is anaconda and watch me whip; well maybe that’s not what happy music is but as long as the beat was good enough to make me move my feet and not get angry at any of the inanimate objects in my house that usually made me upset, I considered it happy music.

I slipped into a happy dress with bright colours, blue and yellow even though I was more of a black on black person. All this for a boy ooo. In my head, I hoped it was worth it to become giddy for someone I had met just once before. Off to work and then date by 1pm. Oh happy day.

I got to Lornezos at 1:12 pm – slow jazz in the background, beautiful centrepieces on each table and a fantastic aura. Immediately I walked in, I felt the peace it sought to achieve and I took it all in because of course, it was a happy day.

Femi was already sitted at table in the corner, he looked even better than when we first met…(lord take control, your girl needs a man). We exchanged pleasantries and he showered me with compliments and we laughed , of course I was laughing more, my perfect dentition would not go to waste today. A smiling waitress came to take our orders, I was smiling, Femi was smiling….perfect toothpaste advert kinda thing.

I wasn’t a coffee person so I didn’t know that there were so many types of coffee, I mean, what ever happened to plain old coffee, milk and sugar. I however went with the flow and said I would have whatever Femi ordered since he had been there before. I don’t remember the name but God, was it amazing. “I bet this is what taking ecstasy feels like” I said to myself as I took the second sip, then another, and another. I had to ask, “What did they put in this thing?, its so delicious” and he laughed as he chewed on some pancakes, I hadn’t even noticed the pancakes, the coffee was just too good. <<<Perfect date right?

Wrong! My village people came to show themselves.

A pretty young lady barged in shouting “Femi, Femi what are you doing with this prostitute”. Shock, anger, rage, everthing this day was not supposed to be about came over me. Who was this girl trying to break me on this happy day? Turns out she was his supossed girlfriend but they had broken up a few months ago. He had reached out to her two weeks earlier and they supposedly got back together again only for her to have seen him through the shops  window on a date.

She began to point her finters at me, poke my face and call me names….then when I tried to get up to leave PEACEFULLY, she pushed me back into my chair….

What did I do?…. I sat down properly, crossed my legs, took a sip of my coffee and watched the drama escalate as my handsome date began to explain some jargons I honestly  cannot remember.

There was nothing else I could do.

Besides……..

The coffee mug was my peace. THE COFFEE MUG WAS MY EVERYTHING.

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But I wasn’t having any of that shit!!!

Incase I didn’t mention earlier, I was born in Mushin and raised in Iyana-ipaja; It was my quest for the good life that brought me to Lekki.  But the good life didn’t say I had to take bull from anyone so this is what actually happened.

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I grabbed aunty ‘supposed girlfriend’ by her hair and pulled till she was screaming, and then I pushed her a few feet  away with all the anger I hadn’t found since morning.  As fate would have it , the smiling waitress was close to me with a tray of steaming peaceful coffee so I took a mug of what looked like what I just drank and emptied its contents on Uncle Femi the Yoruba demon. I smiled truly happy with myself and waltzed out of Lorenzos. I knew I was definitely going to come here again.
Maybe coffee simply isn’t for everyone.

But that day I found out,  it is for me.

Pancakes anyone?